im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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