Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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