and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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