Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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