So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
