Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
