She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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