If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
