whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
