On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
