is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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