i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize