I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
