dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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