Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
