its not stalking. its research.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
