Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
