you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
