i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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