ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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