Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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