Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
