I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize