A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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