Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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