Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize