The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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