garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize