break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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