No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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