the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
