I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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