My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
