giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
