I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
