Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
