He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We are all done wearing pants today
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
