if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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