we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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