That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
