upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
