; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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