I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
