i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
