Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
