So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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