found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
