I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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