I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize