This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
