arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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