I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
