I seem to have left my pride at pride
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
