did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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