i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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