he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
