That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I bet he comes in French.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
