Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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