:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
