Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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