i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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