I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
