I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
