Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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