woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
