I just made out with a guy for $7.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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