5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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