O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
