2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Couch. On fire.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
