i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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